Why I Choose to Build a Beautiful Love Life with Myself?

Happy New Year! Halfway through the month.

Let me reintroduce myself. My name is Keianna Johnson. I am a woman who wears many hats in many colors. My husband and our children are the veins that lead the blood to my heart. I am a family; first, family always kind of person. My real friendships keep me grounded and vice versa — a fair exchange. I got loyalty inside my DNA ~in my Kendric Lamar voice. I enjoy my career as an award-winning children’s textured hairstylist and author of the book, Coming of Age: The Easy Guide to Healthy Hair Care for Teens. None of the above wouldn’t be possible without The Messiah from where all my blessings flow. I live well because I keep the four components of my life simplified: God, Family, Friends, and Career.

The fifth yet most crucial building block to my life is myself. Excepting me for me.

Born and raised in Washington, D.C., is where the infrastructure of my life began. My upbringing is the deep foundation of where I’ve been and where my future lives. Things I used to be ashamed of, I no longer view as a ding against my character. I learned to appreciate the toughness of the era, which raised me, the moments in time which shaped me, and the realization (in which I tried to run from my entire life) that my momma did not raise a punk. It is true; she raised us with an iron fist. The one thing that used to pain me about my mother is the very thing that has liberated me to be the tenacious person I am today. My mother gave me my voice to speak up for myself. Her energy has also given me the strength to stand in my truth. Sharing my real thoughts, no matter how raw they may seem, has been the key to unlock the doors located on many levels of my soul. My mother truly (unknowingly) helped me to accept my truth and is the reason why I have no issues with excepting my humanity. I am who I am.

I will not ever lie to myself ever again.

I once was the master of suppressing my honest feelings. It isn’t a good look to be transparent. “People will think you are crazy.” folks used to say. Church folks used to tell me, “You need to stop continually going up in the prayer line. It makes you look like you have little faith. Unbeknownst to them, I was desperate for a change in my life. I wanted to say, “News flash, my confidence is low. My hope in life needs some revitalization.” I needed God himself to show up mightly in my life during that time. However, I decided to listen to the “Ain’ts” of God; I mean saints and continue to walk around with a hole in my heart filled with sadness. And then one day it happened. The invisible elephant in the room made a powerful sound from withing me. A war in my soul festered deep inside my mind for so long that my body could no longer take the pressure. I SNAPPED!

The aftermath of “The Snapped,” although it was traumatic, taught me a few things about myself. I am no longer a child; I am grown; it is ok to use my voice how I see fit. I learned I have a choice to choose what’s in my life, what I will accept, and what I will discard. I have a right to do what is best for me at all costs, no matter what people may say. I learned my intuition is a God-given. I do not have to be afraid to trust the messages my inner spirit is communicating to me. I do not have to settle for less. And Lastly, it is ok for me to express how I am feeling. I do not have to keep things bottled inside, no matter how uncomfortable someone may feel. Not that I intend to treat people rudely because that isn’t who I am. I am merely saying my life is mine to live. My mental health depends on my freedom.

Staying true to self, what does that mean?

Being true to myself means being 100% honest about who I am. At this point in my life, it isn’t healthy to suppress the messages my intuition is trying to communicate to me. Because I am so in tune with my mind, my body and spirit, I can not allow words to go unspoken and though un-examined. For me, peace means keeping calm the enteral war. If something doesn’t sit well within my spirit, I can’t allow the unrest to live inside my mind and soul. I have to speak on it.

My message to you.

There is no shame in honesty. It is human nature to fear rejection. The truth is, people are always going to have something to say about you, no matter how you choose to live your life. I would encourage you to find ways to learn to combat the feelings you may have when someone is trying to attack you or is trying to convince you to adopt their point of view. Some people are so manipulative and will try to do anything to bring you down. You have to learn to stand up and be secure. Always remember, people can not use your story against you, especially when you are the storyteller.

I encourage you to draw a line in the sand: If it doesn’t feel right, sit well within your spirit, or if it has your intuition speaking louder than usual, It is time to do inventory on the people, places, or things in your life. Closure again is all about being honest. Ending things once and for all and walking away with your head held high. It is natural to second guess yourself when making tough decisions. But NEVER, EVER CHOOSE TO LOVE SOMEONE MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF! Always love yourself more.

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