5 Reasons Why Misplaced Anger is Destroying Our Relationships.

None of us are exempt from life experiences getting us down. Too many stressors from our daily responsibilities have the potential to make us snappy towards people or situations that do not have any immediate connection to the source of irritation. The pressure of having too much on our plates can sometimes make life unbearable, which is often advised by experts to take mental breaks from situations that do not bring out the best in us to ensure we are not making life-changing decisions emotionally.

What is Misplaced Anger?

Aggression encompasses behavior, such as yelling or physical violence, that comes about as a result of feelings of anger. And if you are unable to resolve your anger, it may become displacedmeaning that it is directed towards something or someone else that has nothing to do with the original conflict. Read more at Study.com

The Causes of Misplaced Anger

  • Suppressed Anger: Not being able to express your true feelings.
  • Hopelessness: Due to overwhelming life circumstances.
  • Self Care Neglect: Not taking mental breaks from daily frustrations.
  • Aggravation: Dwelling on problems that don’t have a resolution.
  • Resentment: Bitter indignation at having been mistreated.

 

 

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Our personal lives can trigger anger which can transform into misplaced aggression.

 

How does misplaced anger destroy relationships?

The bullet points below is a little diagram of why family, friends, and co-workers distance themselves from people who continuously display angry outburst. The key word here is CONSTANTLY!

  • Negative vibes are contagious and not pleasant to be around.
  • The angry outburst is disrespectful. Adults do not like to be talked down too.
  • Frustrating to be around which speak to the notion misery loves company.
  • Toxic. Toxic. Toxic! Contaminated. Simply not healthy.
  • Has people questioning their safety. Are they safe in your presence?

Truth Moment

I enjoy sharing with people, especially when meeting them for the first time that I am a mother of five children. Mainly because of the shock factor as well as loving hearing people say I do not look like a mom of five. HeHe 🙂

Anyway, two children out of five have a disability. Twin A diagnosis is ADHA, while Twin B diagnosed with Autism. Twin B situation is not as severe as Twin A. The reason being I have come to terms long ago that Twin B diagnosis will require my assistance for the rest of his life, while Twin A has the potential to live a good life one day on his own. I sometimes feel like I fight harder for Twin A because I know the state of our society. I do not want my son demonized in the future as a criminal where in reality he will become a man with ADHD.

I will not lie and say I have never been frustrated by the facts surrounding my sons’ disabilities. My desire, more than anything is my children have a fantastic quality of life as they get older. So my husband and I have made it our mission to find out how our children can live the life of their dreams. Trying to find the answers to the pieces of the missing puzzle has been a substantial financial burden. Most of the test needed to see the answers cost are high without support from our PPO program health insurance. Paying $600 for this test, $300 for that test, $500 for another test every couple of months has become a hard pill to swallow especially as each year pass, our children are getting older. I am not going to lie, this situation with my sons is sometimes frustrating as hell. I’ve prayed to God for healing so many times that I became bitter. I am sometimes so frustrated that I do not want to deal with people or any additional drama because I know I will not be presenting my 100% best self. There have been times in my life where I blew up out of frustration on other people. I am sharing my truth with you today because I know I am not the only person who has done things out of character. Below is an article explaining ADHD and Autism.

  1. NetDoctor ADHD Article  
  2. NetDoctor Autism Spectrum Disorder Article

I’ve realized being angry isn’t going to change anything. Me being mad about my children having Autism and ADHD is a useless choice of behavior. I had to change my approach to dealing with the facts. When I am angry about something, it is best I stay to myself for a few days, which is one of the ways I focus on improving my behavior #SelfCare. I do not confront people or tackle situations that will have me displaying behavior that is not becoming of the person I will like to be. I also utilize my compartmentalized support system which consists of my husband, mom, sisters, three cousins and two best friends. I trust my team with my life. They love me and have my back 100%. It is easy to heal when there are systems set in place.

A Special Note To My Readers

I encourage you today to write in your journal (which is a safe place to vent) and come face to face with the things that nitpick at your core. What is making you angry? Why is it making you angry? How have you displayed your anger? Do you address situations head-on or do you suppress your feelings? Do you take out frustrations on your family and friends?  Who are your friends? What role do they play in your life? How do you release daily frustrations? How do you come to terms with yourself after making a mistake?

After writing down the truth, do not beat yourself up about any new discoveries you may deem as awful. Journal time is all about self-discovery.  Every person who walks this Earth has made bad choices. However, use your journal as a roadmap to get to know yourself on a deeper level. As you learn and feel your trigger points, it will become easier to figure out what steps to take in addressing what is making you upset and how to act accordingly from this day forward.

 

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