Allowing Myself To Grow In My Truth.
Evolution: the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form. ~Dictionary
synonyms: development, advancement, growth, rise, progress, expansion, unfolding
While there are many ups and downs on this road called life, I am really enjoying this path I am traveling on called self-discovery. No, there isn’t a particular age where the mind automatically allows evolution to take it course. It literally organically happens when the time is right. For me, I can honestly say I have been open to the possibility of change. For the first time in my life, I am not fearful of the unknown as I am truthful with myself about myself. I anticipate witnessing what is below the surface of my heart. Below are 6 questions I’ve asked myself in hopes of giving myself permission, to tell the truth, and accept myself in my most real form.
- Why is my self-worth/self-esteem important to me? I personally feel self-esteem isn’t based on the word meaning in the dictionary. For me, it is about actually taking the time to connect with myself and doing things for myself that are meaningful and really paying close attention to how my choices make me feel. One of my goals in life is to truly learn and love what I stand for.
- Why is no longer sacrificing my happiness to make other people happy important to me? I am aware that life is given to each human being one time. When I am dead and gone, the only thing left behind would be memories of me and my body of work. Having spent over 20-years with the values and opinions of another being at the top of my “most important” list, I no longer care to put myself last. I embrace investing time into myself. I am excited to choose my wants and desires. Not attempting to be selfish but from here on out having my mind, body, and spirit balanced is number 1 in my playbook.
- Why can’t the truth & bullshit mix in my world? Being completely honest, I’ve eaten delicious five-course meals throughout my life, and then dessert came, and it was a cute cake filled with bullshit. I am sick of eating crap. At this point in my life, I am only going to entertain what is honest. If I sense a hint of fakeness, there isn’t any possible way for me to move forward. I have no desire to live any part of my life by sweeping stuff under the rug. Just like oil and water don’t mix, neither does me and bullshit. (Sorry for my colorful language)
- Why is realness a significant element needed in my personal space? I recognize I can not shield myself from everything. However, I do have control over what I allow in my own space. Many things are important to me as I explore the kinds of things I want around me. But if I had to choose one thing, I want people in my life who really love me for me. I want 100% trust in my close relationships. I didn’t say perfection, the key word for me is TRUST! If there is no trust, there is zero engagement on my part. Sorry, not sorry.
- What are my actual values in life? Family, friendship, peace and being a blessing to those who have given so much to make my life happy.
- What has brought me happiness today that I didn’t appreciate in the past? Loyalty. I used to look for reliability in all the wrong places yet forgot about how loyal my husband, my sisters, close cousins, and my dearest friends are to me. I am enjoying sharing my space with people I do not have to have my guards up. I am free to laugh, to love, to vent, to be myself. I enjoy sharing a place of goodness with my children and those around me love my kids as much as I do.